7 Rules of Life - 1. The World is what you think it is

7 Rules of Life - 1. The World is what you think it is

Every minute of every day we filter the world through everything we have ever learned and experienced.  Every single second you have been alive has contributed to the way you experience your life today.

For example, if you grew up in a world of red, blue would seem amazing while orange may appear not quite right.  I know it's a crazy example but I hope it makes sense!  

At no point in your life will you ever interact with the 'real' world.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you experience is filtered by you.  Here's a mind blower, you are that unique that not one person ever in history has experienced this moment before and no one will ever experience it ever again.  This moment, right now is unique.  What have you done with it?!

Your expectations of life, the world and everything are defined by your internal experience.  If you think work is going to be hell, it probably will be. If you think your boss is an ass, it doesn't matter what they do you will see them as an ass. If you believe you are not good enough you will find your evidence to support that and you'll get to be right, congratulations!

Your thoughts are powerful.  How would your world change if you believed you are capable of anything?  How would you change you if you trusted that the opportunity to live your dream will present itself? 

The world is exactly what you think it is because your thoughts are your world.  The second you realise that is the second you take power over your life.

Aloha

7 Pillars of Life

When I first started my Personal Development journey I was excited about everything and investigated all sorts of techniques and systems, some of those spiritual.  One of those systems, that I symbolise proudly everyday as a tattoo, had the following incredible 7 'pillars' that it was built around.  Here are those 7 pillars.  What the system was, doesn't really matter, what matters is that you understand how true these are;

1. The world is what you think it is
2. There are no limits
3. Energy flows where attention goes
4. NOW is the moment of power
5. To Love is to be happy with
6. All power comes from within
7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

I think they are beautiful.  A perfect summary of how to live an effortless life.  Look out next week and I'll expand on each one in turn over the course of 7 days with a wee optional exercise for you to do :)

Aloha :)

You have breached life's Terms and Conditions...sorry, no refunds.

Do you try and work out your personal challenges and problems? No, I mean, do you try and literally 'work' out your personal challenges and problems?

For the most part our personal stuff is emotionally based (we could argue it all is but that's for another post, for just now let's content ourselves with 'most').  Yet, our default, and very western, approach is to try and fix it. To logic it out; 'this thing is broken and I will fix it' even when this 'thing' is our relationship, our moods or our emotional well being.  

This is what I mean by 'work' it out. We approach our problems and challenges like they are a malfunctioning computer system, a failure to meet your target or a breach of terms and conditions. We look to project manage our way out of them, quoting logical reasons why it shouldn't be like this 'sorry [insert name of partner here], due to your failure to meet my standards of care you have been given a C grade and the following requirements must be met within the next appraisal period or, with regret, you are dumped, pal'. 

Our problems and challenges can't be logic-ed (new word, my blog!) out, they need to be felt, acknowledged and addressed as emotional beings. Not as  project managers!
You can't change your life with a bullet pointed list. 

You change your life by taking action to change the things you aren't happy with and by accepting that life will, undoubtedly, deliver you both ups and downs and that fighting these or thinking you can control them will only lead you to a world of hurt.

You are an emotion machine. You have been made this way. There are no terms and conditions, there is just life. Start living it that way it was designed to be lived. 

Let loose, smile, cry, laugh, blush. The world becomes more fun when you do...

Are you too stupid to be stressed?

How much effort do you put into being a 'happier' person?  When i say 'happy' i mean whatever 'happy' means to you e.g. richer, more relaxed, sexier, bigger, smaller, together, apart, different, the same, cleverer, quieter...the list goes on.
Anyway, the simple fact is that the more effort you put into being happier the less likely you are to get it! 

When we 'effort', push and 'try' it tends to be that we try to think ourselves happy. Tying to out manoeuvre life as if it's some sort of intellectual, tactical sport. "maybe I can do this thing, life won't notice and I'll be happy before life catches on. Then I can sit back and go 'get it right up ye, life.  I'm the pure champion' and laugh cos I'm cleverer than life itself. I'm the life tactician"

But it simply doesn't work like that. Happiness is not a tactical move, it's not about thought or ambition or even about being clever.  It's actually about the total opposite. 
Happiness, in whatever form, requires no effort, lives with you right now and requires so little thought you've probably met many people who act to stupid to be stressed or worked up about life!! In that particular case I need to ask, who's the clever one, really? 

Happiness arrives the second you spend more time accepting what you've had, where you've been and where you are heading and less time trying to wish the past never happened (it did), wish the present was different (it isn't) and wish that someone can give you a magic wand to change the future (this isn't totally impossible).

Happiness lives in you. It lives in a smile, in a moment of effortlessness, in realising that the only thing that matters in any minute is doing your best. 

Happiness is with you now, it needs no thinking. 

Close your eyes and think of something that makes you smile...see, easy :D

Who shut the gate?

When my wee (totally adorable) cocker spaniel Benji was a tiny puppy we used to let him out in the garden and put plant pots in front of the gate so he wouldn't escape. The gate doesn't lock properly (in fact, at all!) so a slight push and it would open. We were always worried he might work that out since he is also a clever dog when he wants to be. It was highly effective and never once did he get out.

He's not so tiny anymore and, as the summer comes in, we can now let him back out into the garden on an almost full time basis again. But here's the interesting thing, the plant pots aren't there anymore yet he still stops where they were, never tries to get out and accepts that he is contained by the gate. If he just gave that gate a small nudge, he'd have freedom. Yet he never does. 

It's easy to learn patterns that keep us trapped isn't it? But surely we're more intelligent than the dog, aren't we? We'd never just simply accept an easily surmountable limitation on our freedom and ability to go where we want to go and do what we want do and not at least try to ‘push the gate’ and see if it would open. Would we?

Makes you think…

Go nudge the gate. You never know it might be open and, if it is, amazing things could happen.

Be amazing

PS If you enjoy these wee blogs you can also get them (nearly) every day at the HeadStrong NLP Facebook page

No Doubts...

Late Night Musing: what does it mean to believe in yourself? I mean, we say the phrase like we know what it means yet, for most of us, we don't. We know how it feels (or doesn't) but we never think about what we actually do to get that feeling.

Here's my thoughts, for what they are worth. Self belief, like many things, is a process. A doing thing that you are actively involved in. It's again, like confidence, not a commodity. I can't buy it, I do it. I can't trade it, I feel it.

But how? Well, it's simple. When you approach a task or context with a picture running in your head that tells you that, without doubt, you are going to do the thing you want to do then you get the feeling of self belief.

However, what many of us do is we run pictures of doing well with an internal commentary that tells us that there is no way this is going to happen and we are actually rubbish. There's a flaw in that strategy!

Your thoughts and self talk are under your control. No-one expects you to be perfect all the time. Always do your best, no-one can ever ask anything more. It's easy to believe in yourself when your expectation is to only ever do the best you possibly can. You can't do anything more or less, can you?

I believe...

How the hell did I end up here?

Here's a wee gem to make you think - see the problem you think you have? Well, that is not the problem. The problem you actually have is the state you go into when you enter the context of that problem. Let me translate it a bit. The problem you have is not spiders, driving, public speaking, your boss, your relationship or anything else you can think of. The problem is that, when you see the spider, get behind the wheel, see the audience looking back, meet your boss or see your partner (etc, etc...) your thoughts trigger an internal state that stops you being yourself, making good choices and generally being capable and in control. It's not the thing or them that's the problem. It's you! The great news for you is that state you feel is changeable. How? Well let me keep this simple, no feeling happens on its own. EVERY feeling is preceded by a thought. That means, if you are in a crap state, you are running crap thoughts. For example, when you're about to go to a meeting with your boss for example, what are you thinking? And what would happen if you simply thought something else? Different thoughts = different feelings. Pay attention to how you think rather than how you feel and you get to understand exactly how in control you are.