7 Rules of Life - 3. Energy goes where attention goes

7 Rules of Life - 3. Energy goes where attention goes

How are you tonight?  Good?  Or not?

The answer to that question will tell you where your internal focus is pointing.  

If it points towards being back at work tomorrow, your packed inbox and the multitude of phone calls you have to make then, guess what, you'll get to feel stressed and possibly even anxious.

If it points towards these precious moments with family, friends or just you being you then you'll get to feel good, loved perhaps, possible even content and happy.

The only difference is focus.

Too many people spend hours, days, weeks, years, even lifetimes focusing all our attention on what we don't want.  It's ruddy bonkers!! Stop it!!  Why would you waste your energy and thought on what you don't want?  Have you not realised that it isn't free?  It costs you, every time you do it.  It costs you time, energy and saps you.  Do you sleep properly? If not, what is the thought(s) that keep you awake?  Bet you it's lots of thoughts about what you don't want.

I'm into energy investment.

When you focus on what you want, when you focus on the people that love you, the things you have achieved, the things you will achieve, the dreams you have and the joy of a future that you are in control of not only does it not cost you anything but you also get interest on every ounce of energy you invest.  It just keeps on coming.  

You give power to your emotions by directing thought towards them.  Which ones are you empowering?

Aloha

You have breached life's Terms and Conditions...sorry, no refunds.

Do you try and work out your personal challenges and problems? No, I mean, do you try and literally 'work' out your personal challenges and problems?

For the most part our personal stuff is emotionally based (we could argue it all is but that's for another post, for just now let's content ourselves with 'most').  Yet, our default, and very western, approach is to try and fix it. To logic it out; 'this thing is broken and I will fix it' even when this 'thing' is our relationship, our moods or our emotional well being.  

This is what I mean by 'work' it out. We approach our problems and challenges like they are a malfunctioning computer system, a failure to meet your target or a breach of terms and conditions. We look to project manage our way out of them, quoting logical reasons why it shouldn't be like this 'sorry [insert name of partner here], due to your failure to meet my standards of care you have been given a C grade and the following requirements must be met within the next appraisal period or, with regret, you are dumped, pal'. 

Our problems and challenges can't be logic-ed (new word, my blog!) out, they need to be felt, acknowledged and addressed as emotional beings. Not as  project managers!
You can't change your life with a bullet pointed list. 

You change your life by taking action to change the things you aren't happy with and by accepting that life will, undoubtedly, deliver you both ups and downs and that fighting these or thinking you can control them will only lead you to a world of hurt.

You are an emotion machine. You have been made this way. There are no terms and conditions, there is just life. Start living it that way it was designed to be lived. 

Let loose, smile, cry, laugh, blush. The world becomes more fun when you do...

Who shut the gate?

When my wee (totally adorable) cocker spaniel Benji was a tiny puppy we used to let him out in the garden and put plant pots in front of the gate so he wouldn't escape. The gate doesn't lock properly (in fact, at all!) so a slight push and it would open. We were always worried he might work that out since he is also a clever dog when he wants to be. It was highly effective and never once did he get out.

He's not so tiny anymore and, as the summer comes in, we can now let him back out into the garden on an almost full time basis again. But here's the interesting thing, the plant pots aren't there anymore yet he still stops where they were, never tries to get out and accepts that he is contained by the gate. If he just gave that gate a small nudge, he'd have freedom. Yet he never does. 

It's easy to learn patterns that keep us trapped isn't it? But surely we're more intelligent than the dog, aren't we? We'd never just simply accept an easily surmountable limitation on our freedom and ability to go where we want to go and do what we want do and not at least try to ‘push the gate’ and see if it would open. Would we?

Makes you think…

Go nudge the gate. You never know it might be open and, if it is, amazing things could happen.

Be amazing

PS If you enjoy these wee blogs you can also get them (nearly) every day at the HeadStrong NLP Facebook page

No Doubts...

Late Night Musing: what does it mean to believe in yourself? I mean, we say the phrase like we know what it means yet, for most of us, we don't. We know how it feels (or doesn't) but we never think about what we actually do to get that feeling.

Here's my thoughts, for what they are worth. Self belief, like many things, is a process. A doing thing that you are actively involved in. It's again, like confidence, not a commodity. I can't buy it, I do it. I can't trade it, I feel it.

But how? Well, it's simple. When you approach a task or context with a picture running in your head that tells you that, without doubt, you are going to do the thing you want to do then you get the feeling of self belief.

However, what many of us do is we run pictures of doing well with an internal commentary that tells us that there is no way this is going to happen and we are actually rubbish. There's a flaw in that strategy!

Your thoughts and self talk are under your control. No-one expects you to be perfect all the time. Always do your best, no-one can ever ask anything more. It's easy to believe in yourself when your expectation is to only ever do the best you possibly can. You can't do anything more or less, can you?

I believe...