Quick Progress Update

Wee quickie: Progress, how do you know you've made it?

I meet a lot of people who tell me how stuck they are yet, when they tell me the things they have done, you find out they are amazing. One of the problems, in my opinion, is how stuck people gauge their personal progress.

So here's a wee thing; think about yourself a year ago.  Think about who you were, where your life was, what you knew and what you were doing.  Now ask yourself, how has the 'now' you progressed from the 'then' you?

Now, think about yourself three years ago and ask the same questions.

Keep going if you want to really become amazed at yourself. You ten years ago and you now are very different people I bet!

You've never stopped progressing.  Every day you become more special. You should just accept how special you are :)

Ah jaysus, I'm on fire!

When was the last time you felt a spark? You know those moments when, from somewhere, something begins. It can be something sparking inside you or maybe it's a spark that jumps between you and someone else, but you know the feeling I'm talking about. Think, when was the last time you felt it?

I've wondered how cool it would be to bottle 'spark'! What would you do with it if you got it?

The interesting thing is that, scientifically speaking, sparks require polarity, positive and negative.  That's something we all accept.

So why in life do positive and negative not create sparks. In fact, they tend to repel each other and attract themselves. It contravenes every law of physics we know!   In some cases it does work, for example the spark between masculine and feminine, but what is it we have to do to create a spark within ourselves? 

I don't necessarily have the 'right' answer (although I'm intrigued to know if you have thoughts) but here's a thought. When I speak, coach and train I often feel the spark between me and the people I am talking to. It's a tangible energy that builds up between us and often starts a fire that keeps on burning long after we have done what we came to do (and can I pop in here that it burns in us all, including me).  So what if a spark isn't a spark caused by polarity, what if it is a spark of pure energy?

Given enough energy you can ignite anything but to really catch it needs two things persistence and focus. It's the life equivalent of sunshine and a magnifying glass. So here's a wee thought for you tonight, what is it that you want so much that when you think about it you feel that spark do everything it can to ignite. Think about it and feel it. But this time, just for 5 minutes, don't ignore it. Don't run from it. Don't extinguish it. Focus everything you have on it. Dream it, feel it, imagine it, live it.  Feel that spark turn into a small flame and allow it to begin burning. When it is, go to sleep and allow it to really catch overnight so that when you wake tomorrow, you're on fire.

"It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees"

7 Rules of Life - 7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

7 Rules of Life - 7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

One of my favourite phrases on all my trainings is one that, I must admit, I nicked from Tony Robbins.  It really resonated with me when I first went to see Tony live and he explained it.  The phrase?

'The truth will set you Free'

It is an exceptionally powerful statement yet one that is not always easy to live by.

In truth we find what works and what doesn't (in other words, what's effective and what isn't) because when we are true to ourselves and our lives then we have nothing to hide, does that make sense?

Let me put it another way, when we bluff and bullsh1t, we end up doing things that don't work for us.  we end up in relationships that are dysfunctional, we end up in jobs we actively dislike, we poison our minds and bodies and the more we do it the more we end up needing to bluff and bullsh1t to hide the mistakes  we don't want anyone to realise we are making.

When we are true, when we are honest, when we are ourselves we admit to our mistakes.  We accept that we are fallible and open our minds to change.  We become effective in every area of our lives because we understand that we aren't always effective in every area of our lives!!  I'm going to nick another quote from Robbins here, Good decisions come from good judgement, good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from making bad decisions.

Do a quick diagnostic of your life...where are you at your most effective?  And how much do you feel like yourself when you do that thing?  It's so obvious.  So why don't you live the rest of your life like that?

Tomorrow is Friday, so here's a task.  Live tomorrow and the weekend being honest with yourself about what works and what doesn't.

I promise, I know it might be scary, but the truth will set you free...

7 Rules of Life - 6. All power comes from within

7 Rules of Life - 6. All power comes from within


When I coach people I am always very aware of one change, that any change that occurs for that person is 100% down to them.  I have merely been a witness and a guide to help them find the places they already possessed to empower them to make the change.

That might sound a bit bizarre to anyone that puts their faith in a specific guru or expert or attributes change to some magic touch they received but I promise you that you made the change yourself.

I am privileged and honoured to be the guide for so many people and many people who I have helped through courses and privately have expressed their gratitude for any help I have given them.  I thank you if you are one of them however I didn't make the change, YOU DID!

You see, everything you have ever done and accomplished is because of you.  You probably don't even realise just how much you are capable of but, and I promise this is true, if you just went for your dreams with 100% conviction and refused, point blank refused, to stop until you got everything you wanted, guess what? You'd have everything you wanted!

But so few of us do that.  We give away our power, becoming martyrs and victims of our own crappy circumstances.  We believe we have no power and we end up stagnant or potentially we even end up going backwards, running from life like it is some scary zombie that refuses to be baseball batted into submission (scary, life zombies...now there's a metaphor!).

We have unlimited power when we choose to use it.  There have been times in your life when you have went deep and managed to find that extra ounce of energy, that little push when you needed it most, that moment of clarity amidst chaos.  This is your power.  You own it.

If you just chose to really use your incredible power, just what amazing things would you be capable of?

Or is it easier to sit on your ass, do piss all and pretend you don't have any?

Your move...

7 Rules of Life - 4. NOW is the moment of power

7 Rules of Life - 4. NOW is the moment of power


Where have you just been? And what is about to happen next? And, mind bending time again, are either of the answers you just gave to those questions real?

The answer is no, by the way.

The past is now just a memory.  A moment in time that only you experienced.  There may have been other people with you but none of them will have experienced that moment, or that moment, or that moment, or (this could go on for a long time so I'm going to stop)...in the way you just did.  It was a truly unique moment of time, experienced in a way no one ever has before and no one ever will again.

The future is a fantasy.  A guess on your best knowledge of what you can see, hear, feel and know about yourself.  But it isn't real.  If you really wanted to, you could run out of your house naked and run around the street proclaiming your love for Doctor Who.  You probably won't but it is an option ( if you do, grab a video and post it. That sounds funny!).  And that's the thing about the future, it isn't defined until you choose what to do next.  And when do you choose..?

Now.  Now is when you choose.

Every second has a myriad choices available.  You can choose left or right, good or bad, now or later, him or her, yes or no, fight or flight, stick or twist.

Now.  Now is when you choose.

So what do you choose to do?  Your life depends on your answer....

7 Rules of Life - 3. Energy goes where attention goes

7 Rules of Life - 3. Energy goes where attention goes

How are you tonight?  Good?  Or not?

The answer to that question will tell you where your internal focus is pointing.  

If it points towards being back at work tomorrow, your packed inbox and the multitude of phone calls you have to make then, guess what, you'll get to feel stressed and possibly even anxious.

If it points towards these precious moments with family, friends or just you being you then you'll get to feel good, loved perhaps, possible even content and happy.

The only difference is focus.

Too many people spend hours, days, weeks, years, even lifetimes focusing all our attention on what we don't want.  It's ruddy bonkers!! Stop it!!  Why would you waste your energy and thought on what you don't want?  Have you not realised that it isn't free?  It costs you, every time you do it.  It costs you time, energy and saps you.  Do you sleep properly? If not, what is the thought(s) that keep you awake?  Bet you it's lots of thoughts about what you don't want.

I'm into energy investment.

When you focus on what you want, when you focus on the people that love you, the things you have achieved, the things you will achieve, the dreams you have and the joy of a future that you are in control of not only does it not cost you anything but you also get interest on every ounce of energy you invest.  It just keeps on coming.  

You give power to your emotions by directing thought towards them.  Which ones are you empowering?

Aloha

7 Rules of Life - 1. The World is what you think it is

7 Rules of Life - 1. The World is what you think it is

Every minute of every day we filter the world through everything we have ever learned and experienced.  Every single second you have been alive has contributed to the way you experience your life today.

For example, if you grew up in a world of red, blue would seem amazing while orange may appear not quite right.  I know it's a crazy example but I hope it makes sense!  

At no point in your life will you ever interact with the 'real' world.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you experience is filtered by you.  Here's a mind blower, you are that unique that not one person ever in history has experienced this moment before and no one will ever experience it ever again.  This moment, right now is unique.  What have you done with it?!

Your expectations of life, the world and everything are defined by your internal experience.  If you think work is going to be hell, it probably will be. If you think your boss is an ass, it doesn't matter what they do you will see them as an ass. If you believe you are not good enough you will find your evidence to support that and you'll get to be right, congratulations!

Your thoughts are powerful.  How would your world change if you believed you are capable of anything?  How would you change you if you trusted that the opportunity to live your dream will present itself? 

The world is exactly what you think it is because your thoughts are your world.  The second you realise that is the second you take power over your life.

Aloha

7 Pillars of Life

When I first started my Personal Development journey I was excited about everything and investigated all sorts of techniques and systems, some of those spiritual.  One of those systems, that I symbolise proudly everyday as a tattoo, had the following incredible 7 'pillars' that it was built around.  Here are those 7 pillars.  What the system was, doesn't really matter, what matters is that you understand how true these are;

1. The world is what you think it is
2. There are no limits
3. Energy flows where attention goes
4. NOW is the moment of power
5. To Love is to be happy with
6. All power comes from within
7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

I think they are beautiful.  A perfect summary of how to live an effortless life.  Look out next week and I'll expand on each one in turn over the course of 7 days with a wee optional exercise for you to do :)

Aloha :)

The dusty corners of your head

I was digging through some old files on the computer tonight getting ready to transfer onto my shiny new one and I found some amazing things that I'd forgotten.  Things I'd put some serious work into, filed away and then never looked back on as life and HeadStrong moved on.  If I must say so myself, some of it is really good!  And some of it has reminded me of many of the things that were important to me back then and perhaps should be important to me now (i'm going to post one of those things straight after this post).

This is what happens isn't it?  We work hard to make things like relationships, careers, lives, hobbies, businesses, families, health and then before we know it we forget the hard work we put in and take it for granted.  Just another file in the big disc drive of life.

If you look back tonight, what have you done that you are proud of?  The answer 'nothing' is banned due to the fact it's total bollocks, there will be at least one thing if you are really honest with yourself.

We put work into these things because they matter and because they are important to us. So keep them, cherish them, repurpose them and realise that much of what was important to you then, if your honest, is still important now.

Be proud of your old files.  They made you who you are today and many of them can help you become the person you want to be tomorrow.

Can you hear that?

Shhhhh...Shhhhhh.....

No, seriously, mute the tv just for a second...now just listen....

....

Very quietly count to 10 in your head...

Do you hear that? That's nothing.  It's amazing isnt it! When was the last time you heard nothing? No stress? No frantic running about? Just the sound of life going on outside you rather than inside you? 

It's incredible what happens when we stop...and just let ourselves hang in the gap between this...and that.  There is always space...between things, we just tend to fill it with noise.  It's in the moments that we stop and allow that space...to become everything that we learn what it is to simply be. 

Listen...it's...still...there.  A big dose of...nothingness.

Just enjoy the space. Keep the telly off for exactly 1 minute, put your phone or whatever down for exactly 1 minute and just sit...  Do nothing...read nothing...be nowhere apart from right here...right now.

I'll leave you to savour it.  Do a little bit of nothing every day, it'll transform you....

How the hell did I end up here?

Here's a wee gem to make you think - see the problem you think you have? Well, that is not the problem. The problem you actually have is the state you go into when you enter the context of that problem. Let me translate it a bit. The problem you have is not spiders, driving, public speaking, your boss, your relationship or anything else you can think of. The problem is that, when you see the spider, get behind the wheel, see the audience looking back, meet your boss or see your partner (etc, etc...) your thoughts trigger an internal state that stops you being yourself, making good choices and generally being capable and in control. It's not the thing or them that's the problem. It's you! The great news for you is that state you feel is changeable. How? Well let me keep this simple, no feeling happens on its own. EVERY feeling is preceded by a thought. That means, if you are in a crap state, you are running crap thoughts. For example, when you're about to go to a meeting with your boss for example, what are you thinking? And what would happen if you simply thought something else? Different thoughts = different feelings. Pay attention to how you think rather than how you feel and you get to understand exactly how in control you are.