What's not the problem?

Super Late Night Question (which most people will see in the morning)*: one question, one question only - ask yourself now, what is it that you either haven't done or aren't doing to keep that thing you want to change from changing?

Take your time...

*its too late to think up a catchy title. Consider it a work in progress!

It's like the theory of the möbius...

Late night musing: are you stressed? If you would class yourself as someone who is stressed, how much stress is the fact that you are stressed causing you? Mental isn't it? It's perpetual e-motion!

It's interesting how many times you find that trying to avoid the emotion you are trying to avoid is causing the emotion you are trying to avoid (read it again, I promise it makes sense!). Anxiety about anxiety, anger about anger, sadness about sadness...the list goes on. 

How to break it? Many ways but here's two simple tips. First, realise the futility of it and think about how ridiculous it is that you are caught in this emotional loop, then take charge of it (not control, charge) and focus on what you would like instead and ONLY on what you would like instead. See how it changes the way you feel. 

Loops. It's like the theory of the möbius...

Getting out of your head...

Post holiday quickie - how long do you spend in your own head? We can get into a habit of living in everyone else's mind, wondering what they think of us, have we pleased them, do they find us attractive, are we doing the right thing by them? So many questions. 

Yet, do you like the answers? 

The only head that matters is yours.  Yes, it's cool to spend a little time in someone else's head to work out how you can change but that's it. You have the answers to your questions. You need to be open and live YOUR life the way you want to live it.  The people that are meant to be with you, will come with you.

Worrying about what other people think only leads to hurt, suspicion and acting on false information that essentially you have made up!

Trust yourself, live the life you want, make decisions that make you happy first. 

7 Rules of Life - A week of Learning ends

7 Rules of Life - A week of Learning ends

This last week I've taken you through what I believe these 7 principles of life can teach us.  Here's a quick reminder of all 7 -


1. The world is what you think it is
2. There are no limits
3. Energy flows where attention goes
4. NOW is the moment of power
5. To Love is to be happy with
6. All power comes from within
7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth 

I wish I could claim these as my own but they were written by a superb writer called Serge Kahili King.  I recommend you go and check out some of his books, no matter what your belief system.

Anyway, I hope they have made you think and here's one final thought for you -

Enjoying them is not enough.  Reading the book is not enough.  Clicking Like on a Facebook post is not enough.  The only thing that is going to give you the life you want is action.

You need to take all the things you have learned and put them into action NOW.  You have to believe you have that power, you have to understand that the way you see the world is in your control and that you have no limitations apart from the ones you set on yourself.  You have to start loving yourself and taking care of YOU and do it TODAY, you have the ability to do it and to deny that power is to give your life away.  Be honest about your level of happiness, be open and free and focus on what you want.

This is your one shot at this.  There are many people who understand their destiny is waiting to be grasped and owned....are you one of them?

For the last time this week, Aloha

See you again tomorrow. Have a fab Friday night :)

7 Rules of Life - 7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

7 Rules of Life - 7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth

One of my favourite phrases on all my trainings is one that, I must admit, I nicked from Tony Robbins.  It really resonated with me when I first went to see Tony live and he explained it.  The phrase?

'The truth will set you Free'

It is an exceptionally powerful statement yet one that is not always easy to live by.

In truth we find what works and what doesn't (in other words, what's effective and what isn't) because when we are true to ourselves and our lives then we have nothing to hide, does that make sense?

Let me put it another way, when we bluff and bullsh1t, we end up doing things that don't work for us.  we end up in relationships that are dysfunctional, we end up in jobs we actively dislike, we poison our minds and bodies and the more we do it the more we end up needing to bluff and bullsh1t to hide the mistakes  we don't want anyone to realise we are making.

When we are true, when we are honest, when we are ourselves we admit to our mistakes.  We accept that we are fallible and open our minds to change.  We become effective in every area of our lives because we understand that we aren't always effective in every area of our lives!!  I'm going to nick another quote from Robbins here, Good decisions come from good judgement, good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from making bad decisions.

Do a quick diagnostic of your life...where are you at your most effective?  And how much do you feel like yourself when you do that thing?  It's so obvious.  So why don't you live the rest of your life like that?

Tomorrow is Friday, so here's a task.  Live tomorrow and the weekend being honest with yourself about what works and what doesn't.

I promise, I know it might be scary, but the truth will set you free...

7 Rules of Life - 6. All power comes from within

7 Rules of Life - 6. All power comes from within


When I coach people I am always very aware of one change, that any change that occurs for that person is 100% down to them.  I have merely been a witness and a guide to help them find the places they already possessed to empower them to make the change.

That might sound a bit bizarre to anyone that puts their faith in a specific guru or expert or attributes change to some magic touch they received but I promise you that you made the change yourself.

I am privileged and honoured to be the guide for so many people and many people who I have helped through courses and privately have expressed their gratitude for any help I have given them.  I thank you if you are one of them however I didn't make the change, YOU DID!

You see, everything you have ever done and accomplished is because of you.  You probably don't even realise just how much you are capable of but, and I promise this is true, if you just went for your dreams with 100% conviction and refused, point blank refused, to stop until you got everything you wanted, guess what? You'd have everything you wanted!

But so few of us do that.  We give away our power, becoming martyrs and victims of our own crappy circumstances.  We believe we have no power and we end up stagnant or potentially we even end up going backwards, running from life like it is some scary zombie that refuses to be baseball batted into submission (scary, life zombies...now there's a metaphor!).

We have unlimited power when we choose to use it.  There have been times in your life when you have went deep and managed to find that extra ounce of energy, that little push when you needed it most, that moment of clarity amidst chaos.  This is your power.  You own it.

If you just chose to really use your incredible power, just what amazing things would you be capable of?

Or is it easier to sit on your ass, do piss all and pretend you don't have any?

Your move...

7 Rules of Life - 5. To Love is to be happy with

7 Rules of Life - 5. To Love is to be happy with


Let's boil life down to it's most simple form.  Everything you do and everything you don't do is governed by 2 simple forces, Pleasure and Pain.  It is as simple as that.

These two forces guide our lives every day pushing us away from the painful and, technically speaking, towards the pleasurable.  But that's not really how it happens is it?

For many of us what happens is we are pushed away from the really painful towards the slightly less painful.  The pleasure aspect never really comes into it.  Our lives become a dizzying cycle of running away hoping that some day our white knight on his majestic steed will ride in and save the day (or, for the blokes, we'll just find the answer and be able to fix it and everything will seem ok again!).

The thing is this whole cycle has a simple solution.  And it starts with you.  Are you ready?  Really ready?

To find true happiness you must begin with yourself.  The endless search for the solution or the white knight is a signal to your own heart that you don't actually believe enough in yourself to pick yourself up and fight for your own life.  You can't even love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

Love is the root of all happiness.  When you can truly look yourself in the mirror and respect and love yourself you have the key to happiness.  It doesn't need any magic book, any learned guru, any life changing course...it just needs you to look in the mirror, accept yourself totally for who you are, where you are and what you are doing and think, to yourself, those 3 words...I LOVE YOU.

The moment you say that, and really, really mean it, you have found happiness my friend.  Go practise.  If you leak from your eyes the first couple of times that's ok!!  You'll get used to it by Thursday :)