Too right you should be frustrated...

So, there I was tonight sitting in a relatively major traffic jam, listening to the Olympics and relaxing. I had nowhere to be so the easiest thing to do is just to chill out, isn't it? I have 20 minutes where I can be and will be nowhere else, so why stress?

That got me thinking.

I was watching the cars that seem to be really, really eager to get nowhere; pushing up behind the car in front. Filling gaps of a few metres with misplaced haste as if them filling the gap makes the queue move quicker. And I asked myself the question "why is it people get so frustrated when they have a perfect chance to do nothing yet do nothing when they have every chance to do something?".  It sounds complex but I don't think it is. I think it's really simple.

Pictures. It's all a matter of pictures.

When people sit in traffic jams, they have a clear picture of where they want to be playing inside their heads. The gap between sitting in the jam and that picture of where they should/want to be causes the frustration. Take the phrase 'I've got better places to be than sitting in this bloody traffic' as an example.

So why don't we do that in our lives? Why don't you try running a picture of a fitter, healthier, happier you inside your head and run it sooooo vividly that the fact you aren't there already causes you so much frustration you would do anything to be there now? Why is it that we use all our mind's incredible resources on traffic jams and so little on making ourselves who we want to be?

Run the picture now. Be frustrated at the fact you aren't there already. Promise yourself that yo are going to use that frustration as fuel to close the gap, to drive up the arse of the things you don't want until they get out of your bloody way and you can get to where you want to be instead.
Vroom, vroom, people! You've got better places to be than where you are :)

Walking away from assholes...

A mate of mine said something to me a couple of weeks ago that really has resonated with me and I hope it resonates with you too.

"Life gets easier when you start letting them away with it"

It's an interesting thought isn't it? How much easier would your life be if you just simply let 'them' away with 'it'? I mean, if you were to stop taking things personally, seeing every comment or misdemeanour as a personal attack, can you imagine how much head space that would free up?!

For many people the initial reaction is to say "yeah, but..." followed by many reasons why they shouldn't let particular people away with what they have 'done' to them. But that proves the point does it not? Would that energy not be better spent elsewhere? What did the 'yeah, but...' get you? Correct. It got you piss all!!

The secret to making this work is understanding that it is your choice to either surround yourself with people that nourish you, support you and love you or to surround yourself with assholes. When assholes are assholes, you are entitled to let them away with their assholeness and then walk away. Don't take it personally but don't take it either. 

Life is easier when you start letting them away with it. Nothing is personal. You have the choice