Canny decide...

Here's a thought I had today; 

How old were you when you started making decisions for yourself?

How old were you when you stopped?

Think about it...

I'm thinking a few clients will be hearing this in the not too distant future :)

Big Plasma

Talking to a pal tonight and she said something interesting. She told me she didn't realise the Simpsons were yellow for years. My first thought about that is probably the same as yours to be honest but the reason surprised me. Up until 3 years ago she was still watching on an old black and white telly, she made the colours up. She got them wrong!

It's funny how when we're presented with an incomplete picture how we fill in the blanks and, most times, we fill the blanks with total bollocks!!

We just make it up! I mean sometimes we get it right but most times, because the only way we can fill the blanks is to use more incomplete information, we will always be slightly off.

How many colours have you made up in your head? Maybe it's time to look at some old shows through new eyes...

Izzy Wizzy lets get busy

There is a concept in psychology called 'secondary gain'. Basically it means that the person is getting some sort of benefit from the problem they are trying to get rid of. It's a big thing in addictions. Think of how many smokers you know that want to give up but keep on smoking, standing outside offices and pubs hating their habit while indulging their habit. Can I add, this is true of all the folk addicted to food and all the other things we enjoy hiding in as well!

It's fascinating to think that the problem you have been trying to get rid of is actually still their because somewhere, deep in your unconscious, the problem is meeting a need. A need you may not even know you need!!

Maybe it makes you feel wanted, or special to be the way you are? Maybe it makes you feel safe or hidden? Maybe it simply makes you feel loved and wanted, one of our most primal needs. (I'm feeling deep tonight, can you tell?

Anyway, there is a couple of simple questions you can ask to have a wee explore of your unconscious and discover your deep needs. Ready to go mind blank for a few seconds? OK, here we go;

'Who are you without your problem?'...

'What is the purpose of your problem?'...(stick with this one past the first answer, which will likely be 'nothing' or 'pain')

The great thing is that, once you find it, it tends to go away and so does your problem. I mean like 'Abracadabra' going away so it's worth exploring.

Anyway, be honest with yourself and enjoy doing mind magic.

Remember...'Abracadabra'

What the hell do you do that for?

It's day 2 of our Master Practitioner of NLP course today and I thought for the next 4 nights I'd just share a short Master Prac Thought with you. Here's today's; 

What is your purpose? What do you do it all for? 

Sometimes just having a reason, a 'something' to aim for, makes everything simply make sense, doesn't it?

So, think about that thing you do and ask yourself, what is it that it gets you that, above everything else, makes you keep on doing it. 

The answer may or may not surprise you :) 

You make me feel like dancing...

When you think about every relationship you have, romantic, family, work and all the others do you realise that, no matter how it may seem, that you have control over them all. 

I often describe relationships like a dance. Every one is a  set of steps where two people play their role, responding perfectly to whatever the other does eventually ending up in a whole range of beautifully choreographed set of trigger and response.  

Think about it. Choose a close relationship that you are part of. I guarantee there are things they do that you will always respond to in a perfectly conditioned way (whether that's positive or negative is irrelevant!). There are ways they say your name, ways they look at you, ways they walk, talk, move and you respond the same way every single ruddy time. You have been choreographed. You are part of the dance. 

The thing to realise is that a dance like this takes two people. You cannot waltz alone. And, whether you are the leader or follower, if you change your steps in this dance the simple fact is that the dance MUST change. 

One of my favourite phrases is 'it's not them, it's you'. The dance will never change if you wait for the other person to lead. It's down to you. 

So ask yourself, what's the step that takes your dance where you don't want it to go? What's that thing you do that takes the dance to that same ruddy place every ruddy time?

What would happen if you change it? What would happen if you stopped that 'step'? What would happen if you simply stopped accepting that the dance has to be danced the same way every single time. 

Make the dance the dance you want to dance....wooft, try saying that 3 times quickly!!! 

Oh crap, I've just discovered I don't exist

You know, your mind is a very, very amazing machine yet, at it's most basic level, it is nothing more than a bunch of chemicals and some electricity. I suppose that makes it even more amazing but you get what I mean!

Every thought you've ever had, every emotion you've ever felt, every sunset you've ever marvelled over, every incredible thing you've ever learned...nothing more than chemistry and electricity.

But we can go further than that. One of my favourite books is 'A short history of nearly everything' by Bill Bryson. In the book he has a short passage that basically says that if we could pick you apart atom by atom we would end up with a pile of atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but, all the same, all of which had been you. 

So what is life? How do we create it from this atomic dust, chemical soup and ability to generate electricity?

It's when we put all these things together that magic happens.  It's when this atomic dust learns the exact chemical soup to conduct the perfect electric dance that somewhere inside it comes together into something we experience as an image. A representation of the experiences of our sensory cells translated from a cacophony of light, sound and electrical resistance. 

This is our reality. And, when we learn that we are the machine, we can have control. 

Now that I am this far into this post I've realised I've opened a can of worms bigger than one post! Woops!

So here's a wee temporary conclusion before we come back to it tomorrow - you are in charge of you. You are the machine. Put the right things in, get the right things out. So tonight and tomorrow, notice what happens if you take charge of your machine and only run pictures of what you want rather than what you don't.   

You have been put in charge of some remarkable machinery. You owe it to yourself to drive it with care and precision :)

Holding and Feeling....

Tiny Tuesday Treat: What's your next ambition? What do you want to achieve?

Take some time just now and, even if your watching telly or having your tea, just let it muse through your head. Give it detail and really consider it. Do it for as long as you can...then ask yourself -

How long did you last before you let the vision fade?

The longer you can hold your dreams as reality in your head the more likely you are to be able to do what you need to make them happen. Your responds to your dreams with emotion and emotion is the fuel for your success.

Allow yourself to feel your dreams. Never hide from your own ambition.