How the hell did I end up here?

Here's a wee gem to make you think - see the problem you think you have? Well, that is not the problem. The problem you actually have is the state you go into when you enter the context of that problem. Let me translate it a bit. The problem you have is not spiders, driving, public speaking, your boss, your relationship or anything else you can think of. The problem is that, when you see the spider, get behind the wheel, see the audience looking back, meet your boss or see your partner (etc, etc...) your thoughts trigger an internal state that stops you being yourself, making good choices and generally being capable and in control. It's not the thing or them that's the problem. It's you! The great news for you is that state you feel is changeable. How? Well let me keep this simple, no feeling happens on its own. EVERY feeling is preceded by a thought. That means, if you are in a crap state, you are running crap thoughts. For example, when you're about to go to a meeting with your boss for example, what are you thinking? And what would happen if you simply thought something else? Different thoughts = different feelings. Pay attention to how you think rather than how you feel and you get to understand exactly how in control you are.