Alice's adventures in Enger-Land

Today I met my most experienced(!) client for the first time. At 79 years of age she takes the trophy by a good 5 years or so!

There were many amazing things about our meeting today (including her fantastically point blank refusal to accept that, at 79, she should just accept her recent anxiety and be happy with her lot). 

But it was a little story she told me that made me think and I thought I'd share.  We were talking about how she is also very computer literate and is a bit of a photo editing expert!

Anyway, in the 1950s she started work for the Royal Air something or other and was fortunate enough to be working on one of only 2 computers in the whole country. As she described it, this machine was the size of two decent living rooms (amazing to think I now carry something significantly more powerful in my pocket). 

The computer used paper 'tape' full of holes to compute whatever it was computing using some very clever maths and some equally clever engineering. When the machine broke down, a door was opened and boffins walked inside to see what the issue was. 

One day the machine broke down, wouldn't run the program it was meant to. No matter how many experts they brought in it still refused to work. Professor this and Doctor that were brought in to locate the problem. Nothing doing. The boss says to these guys 'give it to Alice, she'll sort it'.

Alice took the paper 'program' as her first port of call and ran it through her fingers. 5 minutes later she grabbed her pen and poked it through the paper 'program'.  Next run through, worked perfectly. The 'program' was missing a hole.  What the boffins didn't know was that Alice had learned to read the programs. Pretty god damn cool if you ask me. 

When you keep on looking in the wrong place you'll never find a solution. Sometimes it pays to ask yourself what the simplest solution could be and do that first. 

Hope you enjoyed Alice's story and my liberal use of the word 'boffins'. :)

Who the hell are you?

What's your first answer to this question; Who are you?

This used to be the very first question of the BreakThrough Weekend and got some curious answers. I was out today doing a talk to some very lovely people and, as I came home, it popped into my head again. Who are you?

There are some typical answers to this question. Many people will answer with their job eg 'I'm a plumber' or whatever you do. But that's not who you are though, is it? That's what you do.

Some people will even answer with where they come from. But, again, that's not who you are. That's just where you come from.

Some people will tell you their ailments and illnesses eg 'I'm a sufferer'. But again that's not who you are. That's something you are feeling.

There are many other answers (I used to be able to pick out the people that had done personal development courses before because they would tell me they are 'the light of the universe' or 'a force of goodness and peace'!) but the interesting thing is what it does for us behaviourally.

People with similar identities tend to congregate. Football fans find each other don't they? People with similar music taste go to the same clubs, business people gather at networking events, people who believe they are overweight go to slimming clubs, the list goes on. It sounds like an 'of course they do Brian, where else would they go'. Well, loads of places! But they don't. There is a comfort in being with people who share your ideals, beliefs and ultimately identity. Yet the question is whether or not the identity you gain through the things you do is Positive or not? I'll leave that to you.

All I'll say is that your job, your football team, your music, your place of birth, your house or even your current illness do not define who you are. Whatever your answer to that question is, I promise you, you are much, much more than that. And when you look inside and think about it, you'll realise just how much more you are :)

Sweet dreams

Guest Blog; What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Guest Blog Tonight: my friend and colleague Steve Burns writes tonight about getting out of bed in the morning. Enjoy :)...

Following our recent NLP Master Practitioner Course in Glasgow my fascination into how we are motivated to do the things we do was rekindled. Just how do you motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning?

I mean, if you also have a memory foam mattress like me, you'll know just how cosy, warm and beautiful your sleeping palace can be...:-)

So how do you do it? Are you inspired & excited for the days plans, fearful & stressed that if you don't move soon then you won't have time to do what you feel you need to do? or maybe you juts kind of roll out, stumble into the shower and let the cold water do the job for you.

Of course when we zoom the camera back a bit we find a more important question at play...

In general, why do we do anything? What are you primary motivation strategies for getting things done?

Do you use the the anticipation of how good you're going to feel when you're done? Or perhaps you choose the gut wrenching fear of how bad you'll feel if you don't...Or maybe you're somewhere in between...

It's an important question when you think about it...Most of your day is taken up by 'doing stuff' so you might as well do it in a way where you get the greatest pleasure you can and the smallest amount of frustration.

I was told a story once about a foolish man and a wise man. On deciding to clean his closet for the first time in a year the foolish man opens the door, takes a look at the mass of disorganised clothes and random objects, instantly feels a pang of anxiety in the pit of his stomach but decides it's something he really should do. He proceeds to re-arrange his closet and, as he progresses through all the junk, the feeling of anxiety gets smaller and smaller until (once he has finished) the feeling has gone...

The wise man, however, had a different strategy...On opening the closet and seeing a similar scene of chaos he quickly projects himself into the future...and imagines what it's going to be like when he's finished...The time and place when the closet looks clean, organised and just the way he wants it...On feeling the good feeling this brings he starts the tidy...The closer he gets to this image the better he feels until he experiences the sense of satisfaction on completion...

Because when you get down to it there's always a way to do things that involves maximizing the pleasure and minimizing the stress...

So ask yourself the question, Why do I do what I do? Is it to mostly to avoid pain? or is it all about the pleasure? If it's the former then shifting this more towards noticing the pleasure could be one of the best things you've ever done...

Check out www.scottishcentreofnlp.com for details of where you can see Steve and I train together very soon indeed

Canny decide...

Here's a thought I had today; 

How old were you when you started making decisions for yourself?

How old were you when you stopped?

Think about it...

I'm thinking a few clients will be hearing this in the not too distant future :)

Big Plasma

Talking to a pal tonight and she said something interesting. She told me she didn't realise the Simpsons were yellow for years. My first thought about that is probably the same as yours to be honest but the reason surprised me. Up until 3 years ago she was still watching on an old black and white telly, she made the colours up. She got them wrong!

It's funny how when we're presented with an incomplete picture how we fill in the blanks and, most times, we fill the blanks with total bollocks!!

We just make it up! I mean sometimes we get it right but most times, because the only way we can fill the blanks is to use more incomplete information, we will always be slightly off.

How many colours have you made up in your head? Maybe it's time to look at some old shows through new eyes...

Izzy Wizzy lets get busy

There is a concept in psychology called 'secondary gain'. Basically it means that the person is getting some sort of benefit from the problem they are trying to get rid of. It's a big thing in addictions. Think of how many smokers you know that want to give up but keep on smoking, standing outside offices and pubs hating their habit while indulging their habit. Can I add, this is true of all the folk addicted to food and all the other things we enjoy hiding in as well!

It's fascinating to think that the problem you have been trying to get rid of is actually still their because somewhere, deep in your unconscious, the problem is meeting a need. A need you may not even know you need!!

Maybe it makes you feel wanted, or special to be the way you are? Maybe it makes you feel safe or hidden? Maybe it simply makes you feel loved and wanted, one of our most primal needs. (I'm feeling deep tonight, can you tell?

Anyway, there is a couple of simple questions you can ask to have a wee explore of your unconscious and discover your deep needs. Ready to go mind blank for a few seconds? OK, here we go;

'Who are you without your problem?'...

'What is the purpose of your problem?'...(stick with this one past the first answer, which will likely be 'nothing' or 'pain')

The great thing is that, once you find it, it tends to go away and so does your problem. I mean like 'Abracadabra' going away so it's worth exploring.

Anyway, be honest with yourself and enjoy doing mind magic.

Remember...'Abracadabra'

What the hell do you do that for?

It's day 2 of our Master Practitioner of NLP course today and I thought for the next 4 nights I'd just share a short Master Prac Thought with you. Here's today's; 

What is your purpose? What do you do it all for? 

Sometimes just having a reason, a 'something' to aim for, makes everything simply make sense, doesn't it?

So, think about that thing you do and ask yourself, what is it that it gets you that, above everything else, makes you keep on doing it. 

The answer may or may not surprise you :)